Neighbors
The complete takeover of Earth took 7 years, 244 days, 12 hours, 18 minutes, and 27 seconds. It was a lot slower than you would think it’d be. When our Neighbors from Jupiter arrived (I always found it strange that the language we used was ‘Neighbor’ and not the ‘A’ word), they came waving a white flag, the Earth symbol for peace. It was the same day my little sister Abigail was born, fat and pink and silent. I was 8. Slowly, and with great precision, the Neighbors set up colonies on Earth. They promised to end world hunger, every Ms. Universe’s dream, and they eventually would. They simply said they wanted to help their neighbors.
They were NBC peacock blue with UPS brown spots, and had faces like giant bullfrogs. They had something similar to gills that let them breathe in our atmosphere, and they came with an advanced understanding of our language and world history. They wore no clothing, and didn’t need water to survive. But, they could eat. If you were at a party with a Neighbor, you had to have enough food to feed a small army (at least I imagine it would be comparable, I’ve never met anyone that had to feed a small army). My dad, an amateur scientist, estimated that they took in 20,000 calories a day. I didn’t quite know what that meant, but it seemed an awful big number.
On my 10th birthday, the president sat with the leaders of our planet and a representative from Jupiter, named Ghel-Teth, and they announced that Jupiter would officially have a seat on the United Nations Council. Everyone at my party clapped and cheered, I just went in my room to watch Naruto on my brother’s Xbox 720. I’m told I was always this way, cold and unresponsive. They thought I was depressed, though I never felt sad. Usually I just didn’t feel anything, unless it involved my sister. I felt when I was with her.
By the time I was 13, we had Neighbors teaching in the school system. I had History, English, and Gym with a Neighbor teacher. They were also integrating young Neighbors into the school system, to build cultural empathy and identification. Neighbors had male and female equivalents like we did, but I couldn’t tell them apart to save my life (though if I were ever in a life-threatening predicament regarding the gender of a Neighbor, I’d have a 50/50 shot of guessing correctly). There was one young Neighbor named Kod-Bup who stared at me a lot. Kod-Bup came off as rude and aloof, words usually reserved for when my teachers complained about me to my parents. I found out he was a he and was horrified that I couldn’t get a human male to pick up my pencil when it dropped to the ground, but this Neighbor male wouldn’t stop following me from class to class.
One day after chess club Kod-Bup ran into me, knocking my handmade pieces to the floor. He apologized hurriedly, speaking his language and mine. I clocked him hard in his face. It was the first time I’d touched a Neighbor. I was surprised by how soft his jaw was as it shattered. I got suspended, and reamed by my mother for not being ‘lady-like.’ Kod-Bup was back in school, fully healed, in three days. We started dating the next day. My mother always said love was like getting socked in the face.
When I was 14, the Neighbors started taking humans to their planet in giant saucers like humans imagined in the 50′s. It was part of Ghel-Teth’s Jupiter/Earth integration initiative. Being chosen to leave became akin to winning the lottery. This led to a mass increase of time spent between Neighbors and humans. Whenever there are two groups of people in proximity for an extended period of time, they are bound to take interest in one another. Neighbors and humans were no exception to this rule.
Scientists were surprised to discover that inter-species breeding could occur. They were even more surprised by the fact that it was the human male that became pregnant. Gender and human politics changed overnight. ‘Spore Sex,’ or ‘Sporing’ as it came to be known, occurred when a female or male Neighbor had intercourse with a male human. The Neighbor released a spore during intercourse that went up the human male’s nostril. The spore traveled to the spine, where it latched on. The binding was inoperable. Over the span of 3 Earth months, a new Neighbor would grow and eventually pop off. The delivery was painful but the survival rate for all involved was high. I was just glad I could ‘Spore Fuck’ my boyfriend without getting knocked up. My tiny body, with breasts still growing, was much too young for that.
It wasn’t until my 15th year, when Ghel-Teth had been elected president of the United States, that humans other than myself began to worry. The weapons they shipped in were shiny, bulbous, and enormous. The Neighbors said it was a precautionary measure taken to protect the planet from those who would wish it harm. Kod-Bup seemed to agree with me when I said I thought the Neighbors wished us harm.
I really hate my species, he said one day while we watched television.
I hate mine too, I said.
You’re pretty, he said, and then we made out for a long time.
29 days before the complete takeover of Earth, Guam disappeared. It took a few hours to realize, but when a plane full of honeymooners tried to land and there was no visible ground, the human response was never to suspect our Neighbors. Other countries followed though, small ones at first, then larger ones, but when all of Australia went ghost, suspicions arose and human resistance organizations began to pop up around the globe. The one in my town was led by the junior varsity lacrosse coach, multiple nicotine patches always decorating his forearms, and they had meetings in the kitchen of a local Papa John’s. He looked a little bit like what we thought the ‘A’ word might look like before the invasion. He was calling for ‘full contact retaliation.’ My mother always said lack of understanding would forever be met with physical violence.
If you see a Neighbor, kill it, Coach said.
With what? a woman asked.
Anything, Coach said.
That’s not very specific, a man complained.
Anything can be a weapon if you’re holding it right, Coach said.
What about my boyfriend? I asked.
What about him? Coach spat.
In the final days, I sat around at home because of the mandatory curfew, and played with my little sister a lot. Mom and Dad were mourning over the loss of my brother, who had died during one of Coach’s ‘full contact retaliations.’ I knew things were just about over, so it didn’t seem worth getting upset about. Our president had announced that he was saving our country for last. He informed us that the disappearing countries were being sent to Jupiter. For consumption. 20,000 calories a day must have been a lot to maintain.
On Earth’s last day, I was feeling particularly hopeful, despite my mother’s brutal death at the hands of our neighbor, (our real neighbor, a human next door who lived there his whole life) over a case of water the night before. It was the first time I’d come in contact with my mother’s blood since exiting the womb. Feeling hopeful felt new to me, it was unsettling. I grabbed the keys to my dad’s newish ’18 Jupiter infused Cadillac and decided to go and see Kod-Bup. My sister tagged along.
If I’m gonna die, I wanna die with you, she said.
That’s sweet, I replied, scratching my face even though it didn’t itch.
We were happy to find that Kod-Bup and his parents were still at their home on the east side of town. They welcomed us in, and made us lemonade, which was kind since they never had to drink anything.
Sorry about all of this, Mr. Bup said.
It’s cool, not your fault, I said
We mean no offense, we just needed to eat. Like your planet needed to, Mrs. Bup said.
It’s too bad you all don’t enjoy McDonald’s, I replied.
Come on, let’s go outside, Kod-Bup said.
The sky was numb with pain at the loss of its sister, the land. Their brother, water, was on the rise and the air felt damp. Mosquitos hummed lazily in air. Kod-Bup walked ahead of us, and we followed along to the center of town, where a giant saucer hovered 300 feet above us.
What do you feel when you look at this ship? he asked.
I don’t know, it aches, I replied.
I feel homesick, Abigail spoke up.
We just came from home, stupid, I snapped.
No, I feel homesick for something else, she said.
Quietly, Abigail began to glow. Her young skin zipped and buzzed and turned a nice shade of NBC peacock blue. Little UPS brown spots popped up on her skin, and she giggled. She barely seemed surprised when she took to the air with a whirr and hovered.
We’ve been here for a long time, Kod-Bup said as he took to the air with Abigail, and your sister is one of us, born on the day we landed. It was the last step in the pre-occupation phase of our invasion. Everyone born since the moment we arrived has been one of us. We’re not a bad species; we just wanted our home to become great again. When something is small and dying, like your planet was, doesn’t it make sense to salvage what you can from it and move on? Our leader used the word “consumption” when talking about what we’re doing, but I like to look at it as “absorption.” With this, we get to save lives and start them anew.
Somewhere, the loud screech of crust tearing from mantle echoed off the hull of the saucer hovering above. I covered my ears to keep from crying.
What about me? I asked. Why do I have to die, and you two get to live?
You can’t tell? he asked.
Tell what? I replied.
You’re one of us too. You were our prototype, placed here years before anyone else, he smiled. We had to make sure the process would work didn’t we? With us, with your true family, you’ll be able to feel like you’ve never felt before.
I was shocked that I wasn’t as shocked as I should have been. Sure enough, I began to glow, and whiz, and zip. My face went soft, and I felt the need to ribbit. Acceptance and understanding can come at the most frightening of speeds. There was a moment when my feet turned cold, but then Kod-Bup and Abigail each took one of my hands and my whole body felt warm. The sky opened up and began to devour the planet. We soared through the atmosphere of the planet I grew up on, laughing and crying, on our way to a new planet. On our way back home.
