15 Days Until the Full Moon
So when you go to Jersey it usually means three things. One. You will not have a good time. Two. You will come back smelling like shit. Three. You have to call Lance Reddick. The Squad met Lance a few years back. He’s from down south. The dirty south. And he’s had more than his fair share of close calls with monsters. Got his ass kicked by his ex-girlfriend, with a shovel. Damn near almost died. He’s got a nice scar like an upside down “V” on his forehead from one of the times she hit him. He also claims to have made contact with a ghost. Some ghost of a friend he knew growing up. Everyone thinks it’s bullshit, but if it’s true then he’d be the only one they ever knew to survive an encounter with a ghost. Shit got too wet in Kentucky for him not to slip and fall. So he got the fuck out and went to the only other place on the planet where shit goes to die. Jersey. Fucking Lance Reddick. A total asshole. But totally good at kicking monster’s brains in. The Squad had called on him a few times to help out. Not as big as Justin was but damn close. It always evens the odds to have two titans on your team.
It’s 25 degrees out and Lance has his window down, “Y’all sure you don’t want me to drive?”
Diane drove while the rest of the crew squished in the back seat. Sardines in a can. They echoed a loud chorus, “NO!”
“Alright, alright. Shit. Just trying to be of some use. Mighty nice of y’all to call me. Bout time I done went and kicked some monster cock.”
You could hear Diane holding back vomit.
“Y’all ever seen, Night of the Creeps? Shit. One of the best movies I ever saw. Had my boy Tom Atkins in it. God, do I love me some Tom Atkins.”
Diane had had enough, “Shut the fuck up, Red-dick. Roll up your goddamn window and quit yapping about Tom motherfucking Atkins right now. Nobody has, or ever will, give a shit.”
Reddick rolled up his window, “Shit. I’m sorry. Don’t gotta be an ass about it. Don’t gotta call me names neither. And watch what you say about Tom Atkins. I’ve kill’t people for saying less than what is deserved of Tom Atkins.”
Justin threw a blinding punch to the side of Reddick’s forehead knocking him out cold, “Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Red-dick.”
Diane turned her head quickly to Justin, “Thank you.”
Justin cracked a rare smile, “Welcome.”
Dallas and Dex snickered to themselves and Justin turned to them and shot them a look that shut them the holy hell up, “What’s so funny.”
Dallas giggled and tried to cover for him and Dex, “Nothing. He just really doesn’t like being called Red-dick.”
Justin said, “Yeah ok that better be what you’re laughing about.”
They drove in silence for a while as they neared the club the Frog monster was supposed to be at. Dex couldn’t hold it in much longer and began to sing under his breathe, “Justin and Diane, sitting in a tree, F-U-C- – -
POW!
Justin punched Dex right in his nose, breaking it again. Dex cried tears of pain why Dallas cried tears of laughter. Dallas sat scrunched in the back seat and reminded himself just how lucky he was. How much he loved his friends. The suddenly gay Diane, The hot tempered Justin, The bleeding Dex, and even that asshole Lance. Things could be so much worse.


